Happy Women’s Month (or People with Vulvas Month!)—what a time to be alive with a vulva! With everything happening in our country regarding human rights (or the lack thereof), reproductive freedoms, and the constant flood of negative news, it’s easy to feel disconnected from ourselves. So, let’s take a moment to shift inward—toward deeper intimacy, pleasure, and empowerment.
To fully connect with our bodies, people with vulvas need to feel relaxed, stimulated, and energetically in tune with themselves. This requires engaging the parasympathetic nervous system—the part of the brain responsible for relaxation, calm, and restoration. It’s also where arousal begins. When we exist in a constant state of fight, flight, freeze, or fawn, accessing our sexual energy can feel nearly impossible. Stress, anxiety, and societal shame around pleasure can further block our ability to connect with our bodies in a meaningful way.
So, how do we reconnect? Here are three ways to build a stronger relationship with your vulva, your pleasure, and your body:
1. Practice Mindfulness
Bringing your body and mind together is key to unlocking deeper intimacy with yourself. Try activities that cultivate presence, such as yoga, warm baths, journaling, or even a simple 2–5 minute meditation:
- Close your eyes.
- Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, and exhale for four counts.
- Repeat four times.
This practice helps regulate your nervous system, making space for relaxation—and in turn, arousal. When your mind is calm and your body is at ease, it becomes much easier to tune in to physical sensations, desires, and pleasure.
2. Get Naked & Look at Your Vulva
When was the last time you actually looked at your vulva? If the thought of this makes you uncomfortable, that’s all the more reason to give it a try. Your vulva is a powerful and beautiful part of your body—one that deserves care and appreciation.
- Grab a hand mirror and, with clean hands, observe her in all her glory.
- Notice the shape, size, and textures of your inner and outer labia.
- Observe the mighty clitoris, your unique color, and how your skin folds and moves.
- Let go of shame, judgment, or discomfort. Instead, embrace and empower this often-overlooked part of yourself.
Your vulva is yours—worthy of admiration, care, and celebration. The more familiar you become with her, the more comfortable you’ll feel in your body, in pleasure, and in intimacy.
3. Explore What Feels Good
Pleasure is a personal journey, and getting to know what you like without pressure or performance allows for true exploration. Experiment with:
- Sensory exploration: Try different types of touch—light strokes, pressure, or tapping—to see what feels good.
- Erotic media: Read sensual stories, watch erotic films, or listen to audio erotica that excites you.
- Toys & tools: Vibrators, wands, or other sex toys can help enhance sensation and build a deeper understanding of your pleasure responses.
- Breathwork & movement: Try slow, deep breaths or gentle hip movements to increase awareness and circulation in your pelvic area.
The more awareness you have of what feels good for you, the more confidently you can advocate for your pleasure—both alone and with partners. There’s no right or wrong way to explore your sexuality, as long as it feels safe, enjoyable, and aligned with your desires.
Sexuality is deeply personal, yet so often dictated by external forces. This month, reclaim it. Your vulva, your pleasure, and your connection to your body are yours to explore, nurture, and celebrate.
If you’re ready to go deeper in your journey of self-discovery and pleasure, contact me to explore how we can work together.
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